Uncomfortable moments…

Human nature’s a funny thing. As a tarot reader, you get a good idea of just how strange it can be.

Non- person.

I know that when someone comes to me for a reading , they do not see me as a person. They see me as a solution, a sounding board. That’s fine, that’s business, and that’s part of being a professional.

Usually, most days, I can cope with this strange division of person/non- person that seems to happen when someone is paying for something.  But it does tend to enable people to sometimes forget that their reader is an actual human person with feelings ,boundaries and morals, and  there are some who, out of desperation, confusion, and a drive to get an answer at any cost, who ask the most daunting questions.

Walking miracle.

I understand that people are often really quite desperate for solutions or a way out. I really and truly get that. But I’m not trained (or paid!) as a counsellor, psychotherapist or mentor, nor am I  a doctor, lawyer or financial advisor. The best I can do is show people how they can find solutions for themselves, show them their power. I can tell them what other people think too, which is often helpful. But as tarot readers, we are not  miracle workers, despite the still popular belief that we can ”see the future” and ”tell fortunes”.

It says in my policies that I don’t give any kind of medical or legal advice,  and I won’t predict deaths or outcomes, but of course, most people don’t read those. They are too focused on what they want to know to check out the legalities first. And even if they do read them, it’s often ”oh, but you know I won’t say anything, it just the one question…”

 

Be prepared.

It’s much easier, when this comes up, if you know how you’re going  to deal.  Sometimes you might feel obligated to answer even the most outrageous questions because you are there in the moment and your client is expecting a response – but it’s far easier to make your mind up beforehand to say , ”I can’t answer that” than it is to not have a plan and get flustered.

You need to decide for yourself what you ‘re willing to answer and what you aren’t. You don’t have to answer anything that goes against your boundaries, and you must keep that in mind.  You can refund a client and walk away , if you want to. It’s your business, you call the shots. The customer isn’t always right when you can pick and choose your clients.

Questions, always questions…

In theory, any question that makes you feel uncomfortable is not one that you should answer. In practice, it’s not always that easy. But generally, questions that require a definite outcome, are illegal or immoral, or are bordering on legal or medical advice, should really be avoided. So for instance if someone asks me whether I can give a description of someone who did them wrong – I can, of course, but I don’t. What if the description I gave was applied to the wrong person ? I don’t answer any questions about fatal illnesses either, or babies in the womb, or the eventual outcome of a relationship, career or operation. To be honest, why should I ? Why should we, as tarot readers, play God anyway ?

Requests for ”yes” or ”no” answers. are also  a sticking point with me. There are so many factors to consider, a straight yes or no does not really work for me. ”Yes, if you….” or ”Probably not, but you could ….”. are the ways I would answer this. Usually, when asked about an outcome, I would say something like ”I don’t see this situation lasting”, and then name the reasons, or  ”it’s looking good for a positive outcome on this one”, again, naming the reasons. It might sound like a dodging the answer, but humans are so capable of changing course and getting in their own way that there is never a 100% definite outcome.

Any question that puts you on the spot as ”the solution” must be avoided. You’re not there for that. 

Be prepared.

Awkward questions tend to happen mostly online- people are bolder and ruder, as we all know. But they do happen face to face as well, and that can be more difficult to deal with- there’s no time to think about your reply.  So, as I’ve said before , you need a script for these occasions so that you at least have a loose framework to work from. Don’t be unprepared, and don’t think it won’t happen to you -in the world  of professional tarot ,everything that can be asked , is asked.

At the end of the day,  you’re not doing anyone any favours by giving them certainties or being drawn into their drama.

Protect and survive.

I’m sure all of you already know that a tarot reader can be a target for manipulation. And I’m also sure that you know that there are  many wonderful clients who understand that they must take responsiblity for their own lives. But one bad experience is enough to really throw you if you’re not prepared for it.  These days, I’m like yeah, ho hum,  but in the early days, it would really upset me.

I know, sensitive, right ? Most good readers are, though.

What are your experiences of awkward questions ? Comment and let me know !

Read more about situations with clients here:

Reading ‘cold’… or misinformed.

The Free Readings conundrum.

Don’t Take It Personally…grow some armour instead.

Have a lovely day

Jane  Xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s